| |
|
By: TonV and Velcro. |
|
History: At one of our Trench Crew strategy sessions, which we hold regularly to ensure that you get the best possible Trench Crew experience (we go to the pub sometimes, have a few beers and chat), we decided that a Trench Crew rating system was needed. Something which we could apply to subjects as varied as a defensive performance during a game all the way to the quality of a particular beer. When a huge smile appeared on Ross' face, I knew he had come up with a brilliant idea and he did not disappoint: shovels!  One shovel ("this sucks!")A one shovel rating is bad, very bad. Anything that receives just one shovel should be very ashamed of itself. It should pick up the shovel and dig a big hole for itself. Think of the match at Dusseldorf in 1999. Think of the infamous 3 picks, 0 tds performance of a certain Admirals' qb against a certain purple team...  Two shovels ("we don't like this")Two shovels means we were rather underwhelmed. It's just bad, but not terrible. Something we can get over with a nice cool beer, but not something we would like to repeat. Think of the 2000 Admirals' season. Think of budweiser beer.  Three shovels ("can't complain")Three shovels means things are getting somewhere. We won't be talking about it for years afterwards, but neither will we be complaining about it. A solid, but average performance. Think of the 5-5 seasons of 1996 and 1997. Think of Heineken beer.  Four shovels ("we like this!")Now we are talking. Four shovels is good. A four shovel match means we will be partying until we are kicked out of Teasers. Anything that receives four shovels can feel pretty good about itself. Think of the 7-3 season of 1998. Think of the first victory in Frankfurt.  Five shovels ("more! more!")Things don't get any better than this. Getting five shovels beats winning an Oscar (well, it should do anyway). We will be talking for years to come about anything that received five shovels. A five shovel match will probably see us dancing on the bar at Teasers. Think of the 1995 Admirals' defense. Think of the sheer enjoyment of the 2000 home game against Frankfurt. Think of being given tubs of icecream by a group of cheerleaders. Footnote: If you don't agree with the amount of shovels we give something then, well, too bad! We welcome discussions and arguments (and free beer), but unless we are presented with a sufficiently large bribe, we will almost certainly not change our minds. We are pros. We know what we are doing when we rate things. |
